Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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