How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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