if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
