i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
