K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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