Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize