sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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