He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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