oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
