how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
