he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
