I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
