You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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