My boss' voice literally gives me gas
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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