My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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