do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again