I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
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Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.