haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?