He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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