Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
