That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
