im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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