no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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