Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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