I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
