And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
