i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
