she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
