Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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