Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
