i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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