I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
