So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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