weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
