Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That's intense
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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