im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize