i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
