Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
