Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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