I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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