I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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