We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize