SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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