I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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