My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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