Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
