I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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