I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
