so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
