my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
