I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
