i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
