i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
