she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat