she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know