i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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