it's too hot outside to masturbate.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
